At every open house, buyers ask the same two things: "Why is the seller selling?" and "How long has it been on the market?" Those questions are all about value. If it's been sitting, they assume they can offer less. If it's new and sharp, they know they need to move fast.
I've stood in hundreds of open houses over the years, and I can predict with near certainty what the first two questions will be when buyers walk through the door. It doesn't matter if it's a $1.2 million starter home in Moraga or a $3 million estate in Orinda, the questions are always the same. And what most sellers don't realize is that the answers to these questions shape every negotiation that follows.
"How long has it been on the market?" comes first, usually within the first five minutes. Then, once they've walked through and started to get interested, comes the follow up: "Why is the seller selling?" These aren't casual questions. They're strategic. Buyers are gathering information to determine how much leverage they have and how aggressive they need to be with their offer.
Here's what I want sellers to understand, and this comes from watching these interactions play out over and over: these questions reveal exactly how buyers are thinking about your property. They're trying to figure out if you're motivated, if other buyers have passed on the house, and whether they can negotiate a better deal. The answers matter more than almost anything else in determining whether you get full price offers or lowball offers that waste everyone's time.
Why "How Long Has It Been on the Market?" Matters So Much
When buyers ask about days on market, they're not making small talk. They're calculating their negotiating position before they even decide whether to make an offer, and understanding this helps you see why that first impression is so critical.
A house that's been listed for five days signals something completely different than a house that's been available for 45 days. With a fresh listing, buyers assume other people are looking too. They know they need to make a strong offer quickly if they want it. There's urgency because the house is new to market and competition is likely.
But once a property crosses that two to three week mark without going into contract, buyer perception shifts entirely. They start wondering what's wrong. Why hasn't anyone bought it yet? Is it overpriced? Are there problems other buyers discovered during showings? Should we offer 10% under asking because clearly the seller is getting desperate?
I watch this happen constantly in Lafayette, Orinda, and Moraga, and it's honestly a little heartbreaking sometimes because a house can be wonderful but still get caught in this perception trap. A house comes on market properly priced and shows well. In the first week or two, buyers who see it feel pressure to act because it's fresh and appealing. But if it doesn't sell quickly for whatever reason, maybe the sellers had restrictive showing times or the initial price was slightly high, that same house suddenly becomes "stale" in buyers' minds.
The interesting thing is that days on market isn't actually determinative by itself, which is what makes this so frustrating. A house can sit because it's overpriced, or it can sit because of bad timing, limited marketing, or showing restrictions that had nothing to do with the property itself. But buyers get hyper focused on that number anyway because it's the one piece of data they can see clearly on every listing.
What Buyers Are Really Asking When They Ask Why You're Selling
The "why are you selling" question sounds personal, and I understand why sellers sometimes feel put on the spot by it. But from the buyer's perspective, it's purely strategic. Buyers want to know how motivated you are because motivation determines leverage.
If you're selling because you already bought another house and you're carrying two mortgages, buyers smell opportunity. They know you're under time pressure to close. If you're selling because of a job relocation and you need to be out by a specific date, same thing. They'll use that information to negotiate harder, offer less, or drag out the process knowing you'll eventually cave to their terms.
On the other hand, if you're selling because you're moving up to a bigger home but there's no rush, or you're testing the market to see what you can get, buyers know they don't have that leverage. They'll need to make a competitive offer if they want the house.
This is why I'm always careful about how we answer this question, and I want to be clear that I'm not suggesting anyone lie. You don't lie, obviously, but you don't volunteer information that weakens your negotiating position either. There's a difference between "we already closed on a house in Walnut Creek and need to be out in 30 days" and "we're looking to make a move when the right offer comes along."
The first answer tells buyers you're desperate. The second tells them you're selective. Guess which one gets better offers? I've seen the same property get vastly different offers based purely on how this question was answered.
How These Questions Shape Buyer Behavior
Once buyers have answers to these two questions, they've essentially sized up their negotiating position, and I want you to understand this pattern because it's remarkably consistent. They're making decisions about how much to offer and how aggressive to be based almost entirely on days on market and perceived seller motivation.
Fresh listing, seller not in a rush: Buyers know they need to make a strong offer. They'll typically come in at or near asking price, sometimes over if they really want it. They'll move quickly because they assume competition exists even if they haven't seen it yet.
Fresh listing, motivated seller: Buyers get confident. They'll offer asking price or slightly under, but they'll negotiate hard on inspections and repairs because they think you'll accept terms you wouldn't normally accept.
Stale listing, seller not in a rush: Buyers get confused. They wonder why it hasn't sold yet, so they'll offer under asking to "test the waters." They'll take their time with decisions because they don't sense urgency.
Stale listing, motivated seller: This is where lowball offers come in, and I've had to deliver these to sellers who are understandably frustrated. Buyers figure you're desperate, the house has been rejected by other buyers, and they can get a deal. They'll offer 10% to 15% under asking and negotiate aggressively on everything.
Understanding this pattern is critical for sellers because it shows you why pricing right and creating urgency in those first two weeks matters so much. Once you're past that window and into "stale" territory, you're fighting an uphill battle on perception regardless of how nice your house actually is.
The First Two Weeks Determine Everything
I tell every seller this, and it's based on watching how buyer behavior actually works rather than how we wish it worked: the first two weeks your house is on the market are critical. This is when you get the most attention, the most showings, and the most serious buyers. This is your window to create competition and urgency.
After two weeks without an offer, buyers start asking those questions differently. "How long has it been on the market?" changes from a neutral question to a loaded one. The answer "18 days" signals something very different than "5 days," even though the difference is only two weeks.
This is why I'm adamant about proper pricing from day one, and I know it can be hard to hear when sellers have a number in mind based on what they need or what they think the house is worth. But you don't get a second chance at a first impression in real estate. If you come on market overpriced thinking you can always reduce later, you've already lost your most valuable window. By the time you reduce to the right price, buyers are skeptical because they're wondering why it took so long to get there.
The houses that sell quickly for top dollar are almost always the ones priced correctly from the start. They generate multiple showings immediately. Buyers who see them feel urgency because the house is fresh and attractively priced. Offers come in quickly, often multiple offers, and sellers can choose the best terms.
Houses that sit for three or four weeks before the price gets corrected face a much harder path. Even after the price drops to market value, buyers are cautious because they're wondering what other buyers saw that made them pass. Those two questions, "how long" and "why selling," become obstacles instead of opportunities.
How to Answer These Questions as a Seller
Since you know these questions are coming at every open house, you and your agent need to have prepared answers that position the property correctly without giving away leverage. This isn't about being dishonest, it's about being strategic with information that buyers will use against you if given the chance.
For "how long has it been on market," the answer is what it is, but how your agent frames it matters enormously. "We've been on market for six days and have had excellent showing activity" sounds very different than "we've been on market for 23 days and just reduced the price." One suggests demand and urgency, the other suggests problems.
If your house has been on market longer than ideal, your agent should be ready to explain why in a way that doesn't scream desperation. "The sellers had some showing restrictions initially that we've now lifted, and we've adjusted the price to reflect current market conditions" is honest without being damaging.
For "why are you selling," less is often more. "The sellers are making a move that makes sense for their family" tells buyers nothing useful for negotiations. "They're downsizing now that kids are grown" is fine. "They already bought another house and need to close in three weeks" is giving away all your leverage, and I would never let my sellers say that at an open house.
Your listing agent's job is to answer these questions professionally and honestly while protecting your negotiating position. That's a skill that separates experienced agents from inexperienced ones, and it's one reason why choosing the right representation matters so much.
The Perception Problem with Extended Market Time
Here's what happens psychologically when a house sits on the market too long, and this is why those two questions become increasingly damaging as time passes. I want you to understand this timeline because it affects how urgently you need to address pricing or marketing issues.
Week 1 to 2: Buyers see the listing as new and fresh. They're evaluating it based on condition, location, and price. Market time isn't a factor yet.
Week 3 to 4: Buyers start wondering why it hasn't sold. They're still interested but more cautious. They'll ask the two questions and listen carefully to the answers. They'll offer asking price or slightly under depending on what they hear.
Week 5 to 6: Red flags start going up. Buyers assume something is wrong with the property or the price. They'll ask the two questions expecting to hear that you're motivated. They'll offer 5% to 10% under asking automatically.
Week 7 and beyond: The property is stale. Buyers only look at it if nothing better is available. They ask the two questions already assuming you're desperate. They'll lowball the offer and negotiate aggressively because they think they have all the leverage.
The trajectory is predictable and hard to reverse once you're in it. This is why I'm so focused on getting the price right initially and creating urgency in those first two weeks. Once buyer perception turns negative, you're fighting an uphill battle that usually ends with you accepting less than you would have gotten with the right strategy from the start.
Questions Sellers Should Consider
Should I tell buyers the real reason I'm selling?
Be honest, but strategic. If your reason reveals desperation or time pressure, keep the explanation vague. If your reason suggests you're selective and not desperate, you can be more specific. Your agent should guide you on how much detail to share based on your specific situation and what works best for your negotiating position.
What if my house has been on market for over 30 days already?
You need to address why immediately, and I mean this with genuine concern for your outcome. Either the price is wrong and needs correction, or the marketing and showing strategy needs adjustment, or both. The longer you wait to fix it, the harder it becomes to overcome negative buyer perception. Let's figure out what's not working and correct it quickly.
How do I create urgency if I'm not actually in a rush to sell?
Price the house correctly from the start, make it easy to show, ensure it shows well, and market it aggressively. Urgency comes from buyer competition, which comes from making buyers feel like this is a property they might lose if they don't act. You don't have to be desperate to create that dynamic, you just need to position the property properly.
Do these questions matter less for luxury properties?
They matter differently. Luxury buyers expect properties to take longer because the buyer pool is smaller. But they'll still ask the questions and still use the information to negotiate. A luxury property sitting for six months suggests different problems than an entry level home sitting for six weeks, but both create perception challenges that affect final sale price.
Should I take my house off market and re-list it fresh?
Sometimes yes, if you've been on market too long and need to reset buyer perception. But only if you're also correcting whatever problem caused it to sit initially, which is usually price. Just re-listing at the same price rarely works because buyers aren't stupid and can see the listing history.
Why This Matters More in Today's Market
Right now across Lamorinda, inventory is relatively high compared to recent years. Buyers have options, which means they're selective and patient. They're not in a hurry to overpay, and they're definitely paying attention to days on market and seller motivation.
In this environment, those two questions carry even more weight than they did when inventory was tight. When buyers had fewer choices, they might overlook a property that had been sitting for three weeks because there wasn't much else available. Now, with more options, they'll just move on to something fresher.
This doesn't mean you can't sell successfully right now, and I don't want you to feel discouraged if you're thinking about selling. It means you need to be smarter about pricing, presentation, and how you handle these inevitable questions. The sellers who understand that buyers are gathering intelligence with every question, and who position their properties accordingly, are the ones getting good offers quickly.
The sellers who ignore these dynamics, who price aggressively high thinking they can come down later, who make showing difficult, who volunteer too much information about their motivation at open houses, they're the ones sitting on market for months wondering why nobody's making decent offers. I've had to have difficult conversations with sellers in that position, and it's never fun.
Moving Forward with the Right Strategy
Understanding what buyers are really asking when they walk into your open house gives you a huge advantage in positioning your property correctly. Those two questions, "how long has it been on market" and "why are you selling," aren't casual conversation. They're buyer intelligence gathering, and your answers directly impact the offers you receive.
I've spent years helping Lamorinda sellers navigate exactly these challenges, and the pattern is consistent: sellers who price correctly from day one, make showing easy, present the property well, and have strategic answers to buyer questions get better offers faster. Sellers who wing it or ignore buyer psychology end up sitting on market, reducing price multiple times, and eventually accepting less than they would have gotten with the right strategy upfront.
If you're thinking about selling in Lafayette, Orinda, or Moraga, I'd love to talk with you about how to position your property so those two questions work for you instead of against you. I want to understand your timeline, your motivation, and your goals. Then we can build a pricing and marketing strategy that creates urgency and competition instead of skepticism and lowball offers.
Because at the end of the day, you can't avoid these questions. Buyers will ask them at every open house. The only question is whether your answers strengthen your negotiating position or weaken it. Let's make sure they strengthen it, and let's make sure you get the outcome you deserve for your property.
-Kelly
